Hi!



The end.

Okay so, I have less than 2 days left here in LaPorte. Headin out of here on Wednesday morning ... thank God. I cannot wait to get the hell out of here again. I love my family and I've missed my friends and my home but ... I just can't stand it all anymore. I don't seem to really live here and all of my friends have their own things. It's nice to catch up but I mean, we're all doing different things and after stories you don't have anything in common to talk about. I don't know what I'm gonna do over the summer. I guess since I plan on working and taking at least one class it won't be so bad. At least I won't be sitting around my house, running just a few errands here and there and on my laptop all the time. Oh how I miss school. I miss having work to do, things to read, study, people to talk to all the time, and usually at least somewhere to go.

Yeah, well my health is goin to hell in a handbag. I've had a constant headache since gettin back. Today it was so bad that I nearly collapsed in the shower ... this scared the hell out of me. I even threw up. So I went back to bed after my shower and my mom came to check on me. Around 1 I finally decided to stay out of bed and I told my parents that I had this horrible pressure in my head and of course they suggested that I take a tylenol and I told them it wouldn't help since the pain is just always there. Apparently this made my dad want to take me to the ER. I talked him out of it but ... I don't know if that was the right thing to do. Since getting back I have had this headache, I get dizzy just looking up, and I get nauseated when moving around. Yeah, my sleeping and eatin habits have been kinda off since gettin back so I figured I might as well see if all this clears up once I get back to school. I'm hoping my body just has gone into shock from all the junk and weird sleeping hours. I promised my mom that if I didn't feel normal again by 2 weeks into school I'd have someone take me to the hospital. But freak, if I have another thing like today tomorrow, then I will be headed to the doctor, that was the worst thing I've ever felt in my life. I honestly thought I was goin to die, it was not like anything I've ever felt. Just 2 more days here and hopefully it is that I'm just allergic to LaPorte and it'll all be gone once I get back to Denton. Also, I found this lump in my neck just under my ear ... about a week ago I think. I was hurting pretty badly when I found it ... not so much anymore so hopefully that's nothing too. Meh, stupid body.

Hrm, so I'm definitely excited about starting classes. I think I'm gonna have a good semester. My classes either seem like fun or I'm taking it with a friend so I'll at least have a study-buddy. Yeah, I need to spend more time working this semester than I did last semester but I think I can handle it. Oh and Mallory is talkin about goin to Dallas one weekend soon to check out the BodyWorlds exhibit ... very exciting. Oh, and the possibility of having a boyfriend is very very helpful in brightening up this semester :D *Sighs* Bring on the new year. New beginnings. New life. New me. Hopefully a new, healthy me.

Okay, well I think I'm out on this post. Later foo's!

Hokay so ... this was 2006 ... pretty sweet year? I think not.

So the year started okay. Don't remember how I spent New Year's Day but it was probably with my family as usual. Yay. Did a lot of fighting with the only guy I thought I would ever love and that ended in late February. Lots of secrets, betrayals, crying, hating, name-calling, suicidal thoughts ... just overall drama of the worst kind. That lasted through May-ish.

Prom sucked. Went with Mark which was pretty cool, sweetest guy in LP. Had a few adventures ... mainly trying to get poor Kayla together for the night. Fun with everyone through the rest of the year ... definitely remember decorating the stop sign and Kayla's front yard with undergarments ... exciting? I think so. The summer brought lots of sitting in everyone's houses watching movies, eating food & ice cream, just chillaxing together, maybe not everybody but enough of almost everyone. Lost touch with a few old friends, re-established old friendships from past years. I got to spend that one week away from my family and with Anna's, I think that was definitely the best week of the summer. Hrm, after the summer came school.

The first month was probably the worse month of my life. I don't know what I would have done without Matt at first and then Mallory. I remember my first night at UNT consisted of me crying for what seemed like hours in Matt's arms just absolutely certain that I made the worst mistake of my life going to school so far away from my family ... oh how very wrong those thoughts were. I made so many great friends and have met so many different people, I know now this was perfect for me. I got the independence that I'd needed but not enough to make me go crazy. I've only made wonderful friends, have stayed, mostly, out of trouble and have had the time of my life.

Last night was ... was the perfect bring around for the end of the year with more disappointment but leaves me with a little hope for the coming year. Oh, and yesterday was also perfect in that I broke my toe. Stupidest thing to break but it's happened to me twice now. Same foot, different toe ... thank God. If I had broken my big toe again and not been able to drive I don't think I could make it through the rest of the break. I think I'm bringing this year to an end again with the family. Starting tomorrow all new with lunch with 2 amazing people I'm very glad to have in my life followed by, I'm not sure what with another old friend. I head back up to Denton in 10 days and I'm very excited about it. Yes, I've enjoyed the break but, I am so ready to go home to my friends. I miss having them all together in the T.V. room, talking in person about the most random shit not over AIM. I'm dying to see everyone here that I have yet to see or have seen several times already as well as my friends I've been away from for over 2 weeks.

I wish everyone the best this coming year. Have fun but be safe in your celebrations tonight. Love to everyone :D

i hate people so much. why are they stupid? why can't they be reliable?

1) Black outs
Why is it just my luck that as soon as I finally decide to sit down and do some serious work Lightening decides it feels like strickin two transformers on campus and turning out most of campus? That was gay. Then it just added to my frustration that people do not seem capable of functioning in the darkness. Sensible people would sit calmly with a flashlight or move downstairs without freaking out ... well apparently 'sensible people' don't live on the second floor of Clark hall. Only about 3 of us in my wing had flashlights and took the others downstairs. After sittin downstairs with all the people that are stupid in the dark I got fed up and decided that since ResNet was still working and my laptop had a full charge to go back up stairs and finish up some work. Well I leave my door open with my flashlight on and my laptop on and then one of my neighbors sees the light and asks if I mind her studying in my room with my flashlight. Well nice as I am I say sure and so she joins me. We then decide to bust into my limited chocolate stash and then another Clarkie finds his way to my room. Well I sit to try to finish readin some stuff on the internet when suddenly ResNet decides to shit out on all of us. I was so severly pissed. Even once the power came back on ResNet didn't work in my room till after noon today. That all sucked. But someone else found his way to my room last night while the power was out and we chilled out till about 11:30. It was awesome.

2) Being sick
So Saturday I was not feelin too great and I assumed it was from sittin in the T.V. room in the dark watching Star Wars for most of 15 hours. Well it turns out it was because I came down with that damn cold that everyone else has had. It sucks. Yesterday my nose was all leaky and then this morning I woke up feelin horrible. I'm groggy and I've been workin out pretty hardcore so my body hurts. I ran out of Kleenex early this afternoon and THANK GOD for Billy. He called me randomly and asked if I wanted to go to Wal-Mart and I was like 'Hellz to the yes foo'!'. So we went to Wal-Mart and I spent $13 on Kleenex, milk, and weightlifting gloves. I hate being sick though. I don't get sick very often and when I do luckily it doesn't last long. I've been takin DayQuil for about 24 hours and I hope it helps me out. I don't think I can feel much worse than I did this morning so hopefully I've seen the worst of it.

3) My ability to bruise when people breathe on me
It sucks and I'm glad that everyone finds it so comical. I do not. It hurts and it's just plain annoying to not be able to move without gettin a new one. Like everyone might just think 'oh it's another bruise' but me I think 'oh great, another reason to think I might have leukemia or some other kind of blood disorder'. I dunno, it's something I dealt with all of high school and now I'm tired of it.

4) That Thanksgiving is still pretty far away
I am so ready to go home and spend a little time away from here. I have a lot of fun and maybe it's just because I've gotten sick but I really really just want to be home and relax. I want to sleep in my bed and not worry about my roommate walkin in at weird hours or suitemates needing something or even them comin and goin at weird hours, or the random girls in the hall being annoyingly loud at ungodly hours. I just miss home and my friends.

Things that don't really suck:
1) Me ending this forever and a day long post
Enough said.

Okay, well I'm tryin to organize a little get together but I don't know if it's goin to work. Before everyone leaves for school I'm tryin to get all my buddies from high school together ... my original gang. Beaula, Anna, Kayla, Brittany, Matt, and me but me and Anna will be gone this weekend, Brittany and Kayla will be gone next week and Beaula will not get back till, I think, this Wednesday. I know I'm super-planning woman but I don't know it I'll be able to get this one together, and it's prolly the most important thing to me right now. Things weren't great between me and a few others at the end of the year and I wanna let the people know that it's okay now. I'm finally okay. Not happy but okay and I just don't want us to all forget about each other when we are all away from each other. Oh well.

Okay, so at that stupid scholarship award thing at the end of the school year the school told me that I got $24,000 from UNT ... well here's more evidence of the stupidity that fills the veins of LPISD ... they were wrong. I got $6,000 from UNT for all four years, so I'll be gettin $1,500 a year ... well LPHS thought I got $6000 each year and so multiplied $6,000 times 4 years! Now I have no money for school. Poor again. Don't know what we're gonna do. We really didn't wanna take out loans since, if we don't have money now we prolly won't when it's time to pay off the loans.

Okay, so I have orientation next week. We leave Saturday to stay with some cousins and then my orientation is Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and apparently I don't get to come home afterwards. Apparently I have to go to Kingsville to see all of my family down there before I leave for school. It can't wait till August because my dad will be goin back to work and we won't have time to drive down there. Oh well.

Okay well since I'm gonna be busy from now until eternity I'm gonna get to work on my little scrapbook project. Even though I'm still collecting pictures. I'm gonna be waitin for Beaula to get back so I can get a million pics from her. I got tons from Rebekah and Krissy. Now I'm gettin some from Kelly. I was supposed to be scannin and savin the ones she gave me last night but I only have time for this right now because everyone needs the computer today for some reason. Oh well. There's always tomorrow.

Oh, yesterday Kelly and I were really bored and she wanted to make cookies and asked if I would help so I was gonna go do that with her. Well we also wanted to go shoppin (it ended up that we needed to so her mom could make dinner) so we went to Wal-Mart. In goin to Wal-Mart to waste time we saw so many people from school that it was not even funny. We ran into Madison, Jenn, Nella, Josh, Shawn, Ginger, Erica, Scotty, ... and I think that was it. But within like 20 minutes we saw all of these people. Oh, and did I mention that it was all in the electronics department. We were afraid to go to another department because we thought we might find like 10 more people before leaving it. It was really funny and really nice to see everyone. Made my day. Oh, and actually we saw the Carltons before we were inside. The Dr. man gave me his parkin spot ... right in the front too. He held it for me while i drove around the lot tryin to find a spot. It was funny.

Okay, Bye!

wow ... everything went well for a long time, i had a good stretch of great days and it all came tumbling down to two of the worst possible days. well i guess they could always be worse, but whatever. if i made anyone mad ... that's too bad, suck it up, i don't care. just don't take anything too personally, i think i'm p.m.s.ing, so much fun.

anyways, so yeah, calculus test today, i know i passed, if i didn't i will like kill myself. makes me happy to know i'm actually doin well in there. i hated last year and not understand a word of what was said. now everything makes so much more sense (everything being the one chapter we've covered).

oh hey, mark, i forgot to get you your cookie again today, i'm sorry ... maybe tomorrow if it didn't like die in my purse.

oh and anyone who cares i just talked to josh and everything went well.

wow, i had a lot in my head that i wanted to get out but ... i just don't know ... just don't know how to say it all. i quit.

hey everyone ...
if in any way i made anyone upset today, i am so sorry. like i said ... good things come in sets of three. i had three wonderful days and whattaya know, today was horrible. i went to bed early last night because i was beyond tired ... i thought that would be nice and i would wake up feelin wonderful, but no. i overslept by forty-five minutes. oh but it didn't start there. at around 1:30 this morning my mom came running into my room for my sis to wake up because someone had to go with her to pick up my dad from work. he apparently got horribly sick ...
in case someone doesn't know, in april of 2003 my dad was diagnosed with kidney cancer, it was removed but not before it had spread to his lung. last year he had a surgery to remove 5% of one of his lungs to get rid of the cancer. well it was all good but now they found a few weeks ago that the cancer is back. they are not wanting to do surgery because the cancer will just keep comin back so they put him on some new experimental treatment and it's making him sick now.
well anyways, so yeah this morning i didn't have a car b/c my momma had to run my dad to the hospital at like 3 in the morning and my sis needed the truck to get around. blah ... well i gotta go get ready for the game and eat. so sorry if i made anyone upset today, ...

Hey there everyone ... yeah, first entry. Not that it really matters right now because only like 2 people know I'm on LiveJournal, but oh well. I don't really have anything to say right now, I'm only on becaue I was actually able to beat my brother to the computer, go me. I don't know how long I'll be able to keep him off, it really makes me mad that he's ALWAYS on. Yesterday, he got on around 11 in the morning and didn't get off until after 2 or 3 in the morning. I know he was on at least until 2 'cause that's when I finally gave up and went to bed. Oh well, what can you do?